Thursday, January 5, 2012

Fresh start for the New Year and stuff

I thought to myself some days ago that I should be joining the New Year, New You contest that's been all the rage in the blogosphere... but I don't think I can. I'm too lazy and at times, my energy drops low to the point within 3 minutes that what I will say in my posts are bland and at times But then self-transformation is something I can't pass off from my list of priorities ever since I got serious in magical practice.

But if I were to talk about self-transformation, I need to talk about myself right? Hmm while I want to share stuff about me, especially important things that happened to me, I feel that I really don't think there is a need. But whenever inspiration rises or something like a problem that has haunted me for long has been solved, then do I feel the need to say somethings about myself. So not yet. I'll ask the deities to kindly send me their aid lol

But I will repeat the first few lines in my first post and er maybe a bit of info:
"Hi, my name is John. I'm learning magic. I don't care what style of magic so long as it's magic." if someone can tell, well there is a need for me to do magic. I live with tough people, it's called family. I'm in a phase in my  life where I seem to can't move into the right direction because I've been living it tough with them. And it influences and hurts me very much. Whenever I think of myself, I sort of spiral into confusion and resentment over decisions I've made in my life without thinking about my self-preservation. While I want to talk about it more I'll probably drop a few lines about my problems and its relation to my magic in future posts. God I need a good vent. lol

Now with that out of the way I want to talk about stuff I've been up to:

1.) Initiation into Hermetics -
because people say it's the best book in magic, I didn't believe them, at first... but now I think I reconsider my opinion against it. I was a noob, I still think I am lol I have started doing some of the exercises of Step One. And I hope I can get up to Step 3 where I think I will stop. or Step Four if there is a need. All I'm after from the book is the ability to pore breathe, just enough so that I can feel, circulate, draw and project energy. I can using the Universal Centering Gesture, but I think it sucks if I will depend on a gesture than an ability that most mages can do.

2.) Landing a Job -
Time to earn me some money so I can share it with the worthy members of the family.

3.) Meditation -
A wonderful benefit and something that I never pass off everyday. If I don't mediate, my mind gets cluttered with a lot of useless thoughts and emotions. 10 minutes at the very least, 4 hours when I'm really feeling it.

4.) Offerings -
Using the Gesture of Offering from the Jason Miller's Sorcerer's Secrets I offer some of my life essence(vital force) to my ancestors and the spirits of the area - dead, local deities, guardians and wrathful. I don't think it's a bad idea, and I don't feel weak when I'm doing and it's because I sort of feel more compassionate towards spirits than my fellow human beings lol, but yesterday I felt a whiff of energy from my shoulders swiftly taken away when I did my offering. Nothing bad has happened, but maybe I gave too much. Meh, I think it's still okay.

I'll try offering a physical support next time, preferably at the cemetery where my aunt's grave is.

5.) Theories -
I have some musings related to Fra. Inominandum's seven-level model that I want to test with friends both online and in person. I hope I'm right with most of them.

6.) A partner in magic -
Imma gonna get me a partner in crime. Nope, I'm not going to be in a relationship.* But I have decided to join forces with a friend who I met online the past few months in order to train myself better in the arcana. I suck if I do things alone, it's best if I have someone I can talk to in person.

7.) Reading -
I read a lot and... I don't want to lapse back into arm-chair magick. Enuff said.
Reading list: Mostly Tibetan buddhism, and geomancy

8.) Geomancy -
Too lazy to interpret readings and now I sometimes think that the figures as spirits are showing me stuff about the query in sign language form. I don't know sign language but that is the impression I get. And I sometimes get the impression that whenever I spam the query with different readings, the Spiritus Mundi is trolling me or wants to, especially concerning queries about lost items and where to find them. For example: I almost lost a 500 peso bill and I casted a chart using serena's free geomancy reading. The Judge showed Conjunctio, RW: Via, LW: Carcer. The Fourth house showed Cauda Draconis, the First house has Laetitia passing to the 2nd house. But hey I don't see it anywhere. I casted a few more charts after this, and I got the impression that they all meant you'll be fine just go, or it's okay your mother will cover it. Now a little later, as I'm about to leave the house I checked my sling bag again (I searched everywhere by the wa,y even the bag) then I felt it, it was the money... I remembered the first reading, and at that point I thought I was in someone's comic strip. It was a relief because I was taken by anxiety from hours of worrying lol

I better get that copy of Art and Practice of Geomancy as soon as possible.

*whines: I wish there was a hot girl who is interested in magic like I do. There doesn't seem to be one where I live

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

I'll be back

I'll be back!

I haven't written a post in a long while. I don't know if some people are interested in my blog, though I do notice my stats get regularly updated. Well, I'm too busy trying to get shit settled with my family. And there are too many things happening that clog my mind. Thank God for regular meditation.

Current priorities:
-Initiation Into Hermetics
-Offerings to the Natal Daimon, local spirits, ancestors.
-Defend myself against the dysfunctional members in my family
-Reclaiming some of my dignity
-Land a job
-Add more magical skills to my current repertoire
-Perform the Five Tibetan Rites regularly
-Have a magical partner.

All these are attainable. I thank the Universe for being so kind and generous to me.