Fresh start for the New Year and stuff

I thought to myself some days ago that I should be joining the New Year, New You contest that's been all the rage in the blogosphere... but I don't think I can. I'm too lazy and at times, my energy drops low to the point within 3 minutes that what I will say in my posts are bland and at times lame...lol. But then self-transformation is something I can't pass off from my list of priorities ever since I got serious in magical practice.

But if I were to talk about self-transformation, I need to talk about myself right? Hmm while I want to share stuff about me, especially important things that happened to me, I feel that I really don't think there is a need. But whenever inspiration rises or something like a problem that has haunted me for long has been solved, then do I feel the need to say somethings about myself. So not yet. I'll ask the deities to kindly send me their aid lol

But I will repeat the first few lines in my first post and er maybe a bit of info:
"Hi, my name is John. I'm learning magic. I don't care what style of magic so long as it's magic." if someone can tell, well there is a need for me to do magic. I live with tough people, it's called family. I'm in a phase in my  life where I seem to can't move into the right direction because I've been living it tough with them. And it influences and hurts me very much. Whenever I think of myself, I sort of spiral into confusion and resentment over decisions I've made in my life without thinking about my self-preservation. While I want to talk about it more I'll probably drop a few lines about my problems and its relation to my magic in future posts. God I need a good vent. lol

Now with that out of the way I want to talk about stuff I've been up to:

1.) Initiation into Hermetics -
because people say it's the best book in magic, I didn't believe them, at first... but now I think I reconsider my opinion against it. I was a noob, I still think I am lol I have started doing some of the exercises of Step One. And I hope I can get up to Step 3 where I think I will stop. or Step Four if there is a need. All I'm after from the book is the ability to pore breathe, just enough so that I can feel, circulate, draw and project energy. I can using the Universal Centering Gesture, but I think it sucks if I will depend on a gesture than an ability that most mages can do.

2.) Landing a Job -
Time to earn me some money so I can share it with the worthy members of the family.

3.) Meditation -
A wonderful benefit and something that I never pass off everyday. If I don't mediate, my mind gets cluttered with a lot of useless thoughts and emotions. 10 minutes at the very least, 4 hours when I'm really feeling it.

4.) Offerings -
Using the Gesture of Offering from the Jason Miller's Sorcerer's Secrets I offer some of my life essence(vital force) to my ancestors and the spirits of the area - dead, local deities, guardians and wrathful. I don't think it's a bad idea, and I don't feel weak when I'm doing and it's because I sort of feel more compassionate towards spirits than my fellow human beings lol, but yesterday I felt a whiff of energy from my shoulders swiftly taken away when I did my offering. Nothing bad has happened, but maybe I gave too much. Meh, I think it's still okay.

I'll try offering a physical support next time, preferably at the cemetery where my aunt's grave is.

5.) Theories -
I have some musings related to Fra. Inominandum's seven-level model that I want to test with friends both online and in person. I hope I'm right with most of them.

6.) A partner in magic -
Imma gonna get me a partner in crime. Nope, I'm not going to be in a relationship.* But I have decided to join forces with a friend who I met online the past few months in order to train myself better in the arcana. I suck if I do things alone, it's best if I have someone I can talk to in person.

7.) Reading -
I read a lot and... I don't want to lapse back into arm-chair magick. Enuff said.
Reading list: Mostly Tibetan buddhism, and geomancy

8.) Geomancy -
Too lazy to interpret readings and now I sometimes think that the figures as spirits are showing me stuff about the query in sign language form. I don't know sign language but that is the impression I get. And I sometimes get the impression that whenever I spam the query with different readings, the Spiritus Mundi is trolling me or wants to, especially concerning queries about lost items and where to find them. For example: I almost lost a 500 peso bill and I casted a chart using serena's free geomancy reading. The Judge showed Conjunctio, RW: Via, LW: Carcer. The Fourth house showed Cauda Draconis, the First house has Laetitia passing to the 2nd house. But hey I don't see it anywhere. I casted a few more charts after this, and I got the impression that they all meant you'll be fine just go, or it's okay your mother will cover it. Now a little later, as I'm about to leave the house I checked my sling bag again (I searched everywhere by the wa,y even the bag) then I felt it, it was the money... I remembered the first reading, and at that point I thought I was in someone's comic strip. It was a relief because I was taken by anxiety from hours of worrying lol

I better get that copy of Art and Practice of Geomancy as soon as possible.

*whines: I wish there was a hot girl who is interested in magic like I do. There doesn't seem to be one where I live